2 seconds of Zen

It's funny how one thing leads to another. For example I was listening to a cd I recently bought:





Which has a short "instrumental" in it, that has exerts from T.S. Eliot's, "Exploring the wasteland" which is a poem I decided to look up. On the certain page I found it on, a picture was designated to said poem, because the person who made the page felt it did a good job representing it. The picture is a very old piece of artwork entitled, "The triumph of death".





So I read about this picture and other works of the artist/similar artists of the time, which inevitably brought me to reading about the whole "Dance macabre" thing.

Fun stuff.

Got the 4th edition Eldar codex, going to break out the old minis and repaint them all.

And I have 3 days left until summer school and work ):

Finally finished the death note anime. Pretty good all around, but the first 20 or so episodes were the best.

Want to start a band again real bad.

Amanda's gone, josh is gone.. the universe is against me.(!)

I also finished the Silmarillion for the second time. Liked it a lot more this time 'round.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The one who actually betrayed jesus


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

here's one from depressing comic week


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net</a

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

heh, this one could end at the second box and I'd be happy





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

gotta make fun of the po poes sooner or later




Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net




lol einstein, actually this comic was part of a series of "knock knock" comics


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

haha i would so do this





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



what a perfect way to end this update

So, I'm probably just going to post my favourite cyanide and happiness comics for awhile. I'd post my favourite nothing nice comics too...but I don't think their author lets you link them to stuff like this...oh well.

Stick ppeople maddnesss....


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



this one is soooo stupid, it has to be posted. I mean who says "hey check out my money". Is it better looking or something?


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


one of my personal favourites

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The only thing worse then being bored, is being bored when there's plenty you can do, but you just don't feel like doing it...

I can't help but feel like I'm missing out, or like I'm "behind" everyone else.

It doesn't help that I'm spending my saturday night trying to force myself to study for a Bio test.

`` and when I stare at things for a long time, it feels like everything is falling apart (literally).

Most (if not all) of my best friends are leaving for university after graduation, and I'm going back for another semester. I can only hope it goes by quickly. Thinking about it ahead of time is always much worse then actually doing it.

The same thing goes for summer school. Taking two buses in the morning to Hermon is going to suck. But at least I still have August. Although, once school is done that will be alot less work even with summer school.

I should probably start studying for exams soon as well : /

Tomorrow I'll hopefully be going to try out for some band (vocals), so maybe that will liven things up. The last time I was in a band good times were had.

Prom wasn't too bad. "better than I thought but not as good as I had hoped" I've got some interesting memories, which are better than none.

It seems like there's nothing to do anymore.
I'm lonely

I think I'll use this as a place to story some of my thoughts and writings, for fun. Feel free to comment if you want (if any still uses livejournal), but this is just for temporary storage.


*start

What need does God have of man?
Is there even a need?
*God created "everything", to see how long it would take "everything" to reach his level of being. The dinosaurs existed for a huge amount of time compare to humans. However, they didn't develope into anything reminiscent of us. Evolved to better suit their environment, yes, but that's pretty much it. Then mass extinction. Mammals appear right before/ continue to flourish after. Extinction was by chance? Sure, we'll say that for now.

Mankind continues to grow and change, technologies advance. I'm starting to believe it's only a matter of time, until we reach a "God-like state". Whether or not time is on our side is a question. Once there, mankind will assimilate with God, or the essence of a force (like Brahman from Hinduism..i think that's it?).

Cycle can repeat. Big bang/Big crunch marks the beginning and end of each cycle? Of course then there's the question of, when did this cycle begin/when will it end? And why did it start?

God(s) can be lonely? If they(He) can feel unconditional love, why not other emotions?

Once our brains evolve to a point, we will be able to understand, to connect. Perhaps that's what death allows, a gateway.

to become one

cont. later

*end

I think I've half contracted shingles from one of my friends. I say half because I don't have any spots or anything yet, though I've felt like shit on and off for the past 2 weeks..actually last week I was practically fine the whole time..and then last night it me, and hit me hard. Just an hour or so after I got home from the show I felt nauseated, fevery and started to shake in bed..eventually I felt better bit by bit and was able to fall asleep.

Today I slept in till noon even though I went to bed at 11..or 12 or something. Mostly worked on my 2 isu s all day, not getting as much done as I had hoped (again feeling like shit). Managed to go out to the mall for alittle bit and here I am. I barely ate anything all day so I'm taking advantage of my feeling ok at the moment..to eat some crackers.

The show last night was good. Closed casket played a really nice set and the power didn't go out for a change. It was my first time seeing Beneath the massacre and I loved it, even if the drummer has everything triggered, I still think he's good. A fight broke out during Machines! set, which was pretty lame. Some people are such jerks at these things ):

I always assume the worst :(

I want to do more before 2nd semester.

p.s. - cowboys became folk heroes is a great band

Can't wait for friday!

Tonight was great.

♥
♥

wtf!!!
Anger >:|
Some things have really been bugging me lately, and the more little things that come up the worse it gets.

There are some things that I really can't change, but I'm fed up, and the things that I can change I will, I'm sick of holding back. (that all sounds more drastic then it really is, not to give anyone the wrong impression).


Now that that's out of the way...there's some other stuff that's also bothering me, though it doesn't anger me, just ..saddens me. Like some people, but it's not their fault, infact these people are great <3, things just aren't the way I sometimes wish they were.

Anyways, in the end, I've got a couple great friends, even though I'm not also a great friend to them in return, but they're awesome. And there's more people who I would like to talk to/hang out with/ and get to know alot more.

Oh, and if anyone wants to be in a black metal/ska band, let me know;)

Even though it's semi-old news now...


Man killed at Donnybrook/Shattered Realm show
Thursday, December 08, 2005

One man was shot to death and several others injured (one individual was hit in the head with a hammer) after a fight broke out during the Shattered Realm and Donnybrook show in Tucson, Arizona last night.

"So, donnybrook was playing their last song and they told everyone to move and start dancing so my friends in on my honor run in and like 5 guys from FSU didnt want tucson kids dancing, so they beat the **** out of him.
So these guys from tucson (names removed) jump in to get them off, and (name removed) got his head split open and everyone was ****ing eachother up.

Then the lady that owns skrappys got on stage and said thats it the shows over and FSU was like get off stage you fat bitch blah blah, started throwing the speakers on the floor and **** and then said everybody clear the **** out we've got a machine gun blah blah, so everyone runs outside. Someone from FSU(some people are saying it was the lead singer of shattered realm but idk) chased (name removed) to his car, (name removed) got in and the FSU guy broke his car window open with a machetti and said "you know youre ****ing dead right?" and (no name) pushed his gun up and shot the guy fired 4 shots."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Go to shows because you enjoy the music. That's what it's all about. The music. If it wasn't for the music, there wouldn't be a show for you to model your new spock haircut, your hatebreed jersey with matching army cargos, your greased up pomp, your elitist attitude, your tough guy mentality, your "emo" attire, and so on and so forth. Remember, the music comes first."

-- guitarist from Versus the mirror

Incase you don't know who FSU is

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_Stand_United

So, no volunteering at hotel dieu for my last 20 hours, way too much shit to go throught to get in. Oh well.
Tomorrow I'm attending a job fair at pets-mart, so here's hoping.

I'm listening to a bunch of songs I've had on my computer forever, I like the feelings/memories they give me.

Anyways, enough for now.

I have no idea what's going on anymore, and the things I do know are not comforting. I had my last guitar lesson for God knows how long. I don't really care, they were never something that enjoyable, more like a chore, but I agree with my teacher, that I'll probably get lazy and slowly loose it.

Today I'm driving around handing out applications. It's funny how I'm so desperate for a job, but when I had one, I hated it. Now I can't even get a job to hate, I'm like below the average shmoe :|

We find out december 20th whether or not my mother gets worker's comp., or rather if she has solid grounds to appeal for worker's comp (neck problems). Until she's not working or getting paid.

That being said, last night was fun. Went to the mall with the guys and then hung out at kyle's. Anthony burned me a couple cds because my mp3 player is dead.

Reminiscing is comforting and painful.
But I'm sure this is nothing to what some other people have to deal with.

I love the Offbeats, I wish windsor had more bands like them. Last night's show was good fun. Lots of skanking among other things.

-Lot 9 brawl, fun as always


-Offbeats, amazing, their singer was remeniscent of jello (biafra, not kraft)


-Some grind bands who's name I don't remember (forthisistandalone, or something), lots of sweeping..like almost too much :|, but I went crazy during their last song which was fun, loosing my balance, and probably scaring a few people. And their bass player looked like a girl...any girl who could play bass like that, well it'd be amazing.


-Days Fade, fun and catchy, some guy kept yelling "you suck, faggots" and stuff but no one really cared...he was drunk (and probably too punx). Although some punx were enjoying Days fade, that makes me happy :D


-Closed casket, very good, I need to see them more, so tech!


-Stuck lucky, fun, more skanking. Their trombone player was cool.

There were many more bands, but those were my favourites. It was a good mix of punk/ska, and metal, and other.

And playing hacky sack was fun as well. And listening to some photographer talk about managing bands, and stuff.

And now the badness, everything is too fucking realitive :( Nothing is set, or black and white (to me).

peace&unity

"any relationship that matters - a friendship, a family, a romance, a band - anything - is a perilous and fragile thing because along with all the amazing experiences and creations that can come from something so intimate and exhausting comes the possibility for things to crumble and shatter or whither and die. when that happens, it's easy to forget what was precious amidst all the disaster. we should always carry our history with us but never let it bury us."

-Defiance, Ohio

:D

My mother cannot read anymore without her neck killing her, so now me and my brother have to read to her. Apparently it's from driving a bus all those years, infact she just took 3 weeks off, and has been going through therapy for it, but now she's back to work. Hopefully it won't get any worse, or she will probably have to quit because Transit windsor isn't going to take any responsibility for it.

I had a couple depressing dreams last night, not nightmares, they just made me sad. So hopefully my day will cheer me up.



I miss you..

So tonight was my first time driving "out of Windsor" "by myself" (why I made tha two seperate quotes I don't know). Though I wasn't very far from Windsor, and I was not alone (♥)

I was going to go see American Hardcore tonight, but instead took Amanda to see The US vs John Lennon (another film in the film fest), it was out in lakeshore. It was a very good movie, and I saw tom there. Tomorrow I will see about American Hardcore. But it was definetly worth it, to be with her.

Tomorrow I have a guitar lesson, and I might study alittle for science and law, and on sunday. It's thundering outside, and it started to rain on my way back home. But I'm nice and warm for the most part, and getting quite tired.

I'd go into more detail about the night, but it would just be me talking about all the little "adventures" we had, and how great she is. So I'll spare everyone.

Anyways, I'm probably going to bed soon. So goodnight.

"peacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeace"

It's nice to not really having anything to do tonight. If I wanted to I could practice guitar, and think of a topic for my science seminar. But we shall see. See far I've checked out chaos and probability. Though I don't know if I'll do either. Chaos my be alittle too complicated for me (especially the math/physics part).

I have graduation pictures this friday after school...yay?
And then I have my religion retreat on the 14. If I don't go to this, I can't graduate, Josh went to today and said it was pretty bad, so I'm bracing myself.

My weekend was great. I hung out with josh,anth,jerry,and kyle at the mall, then we all went back to kyle's house (I drove of course, this is what happens when you get your g2 ahead of all your freinds), and we played ping pong and xbox, and stuff. My mom's car smelt like weed till we rolled down the windows and got some fresh air in : /

Saturday...early morning work, then a 2 hour guitar lesson. Pretty much it.

And Sunday I hung out with Amanda, which was amazing, as it usually is. She really does have one of the best smiles I've ever seen, it's very pretty, and infectious. And then I bought a calculator to do my science homework...I believe I got about half the questions right, my main problem was I kept confusing light years with time..when really, light years are used for distance...

And today was nice. Weather was too.
♥

I really do think I love her, what's a boy to do..